Difficult family members this holiday? Remember to D.R.I.N.K.

I’m very fortunate to spend the holidays with like-minded people.  I know many people will have to visit relatives who hold very different views on just about everything.   I’ve been reading tons of advice on social media about how to handle these situations.   For example, Note to Self on NPR talked about using “L.A.R.A” (Listen, Affirm, Respond, Add) and I’ve heard of a few others (none of which stuck with me, unfortunately)

Honestly, I’m not sure if any of these will be effective, but I know one that will absolutely ensure a better time for everyone.  Drink.   Or, more accurately, D.R.I.N.K.    I think the more people D.R.I.N.K. over the holidays, the better everyone will feel. 

Dodge:  Heading to the kitchen and you overhear Uncle Larry chanting “build that wall”?   Turn around and go into another room.  Turn up the volume of the TV to drown out any chance of conversation.   Take Aunt Betty’s cat for a walk.   Dodge, dodge, dodge at all costs.  You are only there for a few hours (or days, at the most).  There’s nothing wrong with dodging unnecessary conflict in the name of family harmony.     

Redirect:  Change the subject to something more common (“did you hear about Kanye?”) or find a mutual enemy (“Don’t you just hate how the [trashy neighbors] always have a car up on blocks in the driveway?”).  

Innovate:  Try something new.  Volunteer to sit at the kids table, help serve the meal, help wash dishes instead of sitting around the table after eating.  Get people outside throwing a ball around.  Teach Grandpa how to play “Call of Duty”, create a Twitter account for Grandma or a Tinder profile for single Uncle Bob.  Just do something different.

Never (say never):   No ultimatums.  No lines in the sand.  Do not start a sentence with “I’m never….” unless it is "I'm never going to have a better pumpkin pie than this, Grandma."

Kindness:   It is very hard to be mad at someone who is nice to you.   My Grandpa Palzer always said “kill ‘em with kindness” and he was not only VERY opinionated (I remember hearing him tell me how he was sure Nixon was framed) but very well respected by people on both sides of the political fence, because of his kindness. 

If you have trouble, just remember by repeating the handy acronym: D.R.I.N.K.    So, D.R.I.N.K. up America and Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc., etc.